Feb 27 2008
Beowulf: it’s still not for kids
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Everyone who read Beowulf in high school raise their hands. O.K., now all of you who either enjoyed reading it or remembers what it’s about, keep your hands raised. I’m guessing there aren’t many hands up because most people thought reading Beowulf in English class was the height of drudgery. It was for me and I like mythology.
So when I received a review copy of the unrated director’s cut of Beowulf
In the age of heroes comes the mightiest warrior of them all, Beowulf. After destroying the overpowering demon Grendel, he incurs the undying wrath of the beast’s ruthlessly seductive mother who will use any means possible to ensure revenge. The ensuing epic battle throughout the ages, immortalizing the name Beowulf.
Academy Award® winner director Robert Zemeckis tells the oldest epic tale in the English language with the most modern technology, advancing the cinematic forum through the magic of digitally enhanced live action. A stellar cast is led by Ray Winstone (“The Departed,” “Sexy Beast”) in the title role. Joining him are Academy Award winner Anthony Hopkins as the cursed King Hrothgar, John Malkovich, Robin Wright Penn, Brendan Gleeson, Crispin Glover, Alison Lohman and Angelina Jolie as Grendel’s mother.
Sounds cool right? Well, Beowulf
Then super hottie Beowulf shows up (Ray Winstone) to fight Grendel. And he must disrobe to do so. (Can you say beefcake?) It’s amusing - and distracting - to see how the director always placed something in front of Beowulf to hide his crotch. Of course, Grendel’s mom (Angelina Jolie) is naked too and she gets it on with Beowulf, his predecessor and his heir, which doesn’t exactly happen in the original tale. Oops.
It’s really too bad, because Beowulf
- The Adventures of Beowulf - adapted from the Old English version by Dr. David Breeden. His version is quite interesting and since it’s told in modern English, it’s easy to understand.
- Beowulf in Hypertext - easy to read summaries along with a more traditional modern version of the story
A Beowulf Recipe
(also not for the kids)
Ingredients:
- 1 shot blue curacao
- 1 shot vodka
Directions:
- Mix together and slam every time you don’t see Beowulf’s manliness.
- Fall asleep before Beowulf slays the dragon.
- Wake up the next morning wondering why you rented Beowulf
- Remind yourself about
AngelinaGrendel’s mom in the buff.
electric fireplace
Beowulf: it’s still not for kids…
A review of the recently released Beowulf DVD. Is Beowulf an R-rated Shrek? Is it true to the original epic poem? Do you really want to see a naked cartoon Anthony Hopkins doing a pelvic thrust? And a recipe for a Beowulf cocktail that really isn’t fo…
I am so glad I didn’t pick this one up yesterday after reading your review ECHH!
Thanks for the review. Glad I missed it–I rented one of the newer audio translations that was getting rave reviews and hated it…perhaps I was fortunate that I didn’t get forced to read it in HS or college.
We read it too in High School and I always wondered why.
Don’t you think the violence, gore, and sex might actually make the movie appealing to teens? The original story if full of violence and gore, so why take it out of the movie?
Okay, I won’t be rushing to watch it myself, but I can see that it might draw an audience who otherwise might never hear about Beowulf.
For another option for introducing Beowulf to teens, see Gareth Hinds’ graphic novel adaptation. It’s still gory, but beautifully illustrated.
I agree Beowulf is certainly not for anyone under 18. The epic poem itself is mostly read by seniors who are either 18 or very nearly so.
For those of you who hated it, I recommend buying the Kennedy translation and rereading it. Kennedy keeps the original iambic pentameter that the early English version had. It is an epic poem with rhythm and reads much better in iambic pentameter. Another way to get through it is to check it out on tape or CD from your library and listen to a great voice read it to you. Poetry is usually best enjoyed when read aloud.
The only thing special about Beowulf is it is the oldest extant piece of English literature. It’s not the best. But that’s why you have to read it in English Lit.
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I said this before, when my friend Chris @ 7milesdown.com reviewed this movie, but I’m kind of glad that Angelina Jolie made such a flop for once. hehe Not that I dislike her, but even since the whole Jen/Brad thing… I don’t know I’ve been hoping she’d mess up. I know… I’m a horrible person… but on a totally unrelated subject thanks for letting me advertise on your blog!
I had such high hopes for this movie when it came out on DVD. I too was disappointed. I ended up working on my laptop while it was on because I just wasn’t that interested. The animation was bouncy, sometimes it looked good and other times it was far too Shrek like.
I don’t know why the other version called Beowulf and Grendel never seems to come up. There is a movie with Sarah Polley - an amazing Canadian actress, that is not a cartoon and it is excellent, it’s been out for a few years.
I’ve seen it about 3 times and would watch it again.
http://www.beowulf-movie.com/